A little advice about love
Assalamualaikum. What's today's entry about? Erkkk, seriously dude?! Uhm, yeah serious talk, I'm writing about something called L.O.V.E (ewww cringe much!)
Anyways, this entry is just me sharing my thoughts on how I view love. I remembered once my aunty used to tell me, "Jangan sampai awak yang berlebihan mencintai lelaki. Biarkan dia yang mencintai awak lebih daripada awak cinta dan sayang dia. Aunty dah tengok ramai kawan-kawan aunty (ladies) yang dorang berlebihan cinta suami dorang, but end up dorang sendiri makan hati". Barangkali husband dorang tak balas cinta dorang setimpal dengan dorang cinta husband dorang kot, berkata aku dalam hati. Okay, male readers sure tak puas hati baca statement ni kan hahaha. Thing is, aku pun rasa macam tak adil for guys. I mean, dorang pun surely nak dicintai lebih daripada dorang mencintai kan? Tapi kan, masa makcik aku cakap macam tu kat aku, I still didn't get the "real" picture about love lagi. I was like, "Oh, okay" when she said that to me. But, I start to understand what she meant by it just recently.
I'm not someone who shares my personal story to public like this, but I think there is a need for me to share it here, as a guideline or a precaution for other people out there, I would say. Tbh, I am someone who doesn't really support 'coupling', you know, a 'declared' love relationship between man and woman. Now, some may say I'm such an old fashioned or 'jumud' person or whatever you name it. Say whatever you want, that's just my principle. I don't mind if the man and woman are serious about getting married, in a sense that they like each other, have a mutual interest and aim on where the r/ship is heading them to, and so they bring the relationship to another level; the halal way- by letting their parents know, and later, get married. But just remember the boundaries as a muslim okay. Jaga batas-batas pergaulan tu please..kalau nak jumpa tolong la bawa orang ketiga, abaikan rasa malu korang tu, sebab kalau pergi berdua je, lagi malu depan Allah ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ ) However, before getting married, surely you will go through a phase/phases in order to get to know the other person better right? Now, this is where people always go wrong.
I have read, and seen a lot of articles and videos regarding how to know/detect if the other person is feeling the same as us (read: loves us). I have heard stories about women sacrificing A LOT to get a guy. Sacrificing as in putting A HELLA LOT OF EFFORT to win a guy. I personally think, and this is one of my principle of loving a person too. If you want a relationship to be successful, the effort should be EQUAL from both sides. Meaning, both the man and woman must show and give their effort, NOT JUST ONE PERSON GIVING EFFORT. When it's just one person playing the role, it's not gonna work. Even if it's going to work, the quality would be DIFFERENT.
I know, tak semua orang boleh relate dengan cerita aku ni. Sebab masing2 ada experience sendiri kan. Tapi pendapat dan experience aku sendiri la, dalam bercinta ni, kita kena berhati-hati dengan segala perkara; dengan the other person, dan paling penting, dengan diri kau sendiri.
Point cerita aku sekarang ni, tak salah pun kau nak tunjuk effort, sebagai tanda kau memang sayang dan serious dengan dia. Tapi ingatlah wahai kaum wanita! Tolong jangan berlebihan! Boleh jadi kau akan terluka andai apa yang kau harapkan tidak seperti yang kau mimpikan!!! Andai takdir Allah adalah yang sebaliknya, kau takdelah patah hati teruk sangat. Takdelah sedih dan frust menonggeng tak tentu hala. Andai takdir tidak seperti yang kau harapkan, kau masih mampu berlapang dada dan berdiri kembali.
Jadi, tolonglah jaga diri, jaga hati, jangan sampai terbabas dalam mencintai, sentiasa jaga limit, jangan berlebihan please, agar hatimu tidak begitu terluka andai takdir tidak menyebelahimu.
Akhir kalam, ni ada satu nasihat aku jumpa orang post kat instagram, which I think sangat deep and every single person patut pahat elok-elok dalam hati.
Everytime hati aku sesak, pedih teringat apa yang pernah jadi kat aku, aku remind myself dengan ayat ni. Semoga bermanfaat post aku ni buat kalian. Maaflah andai ada mengguris hati sesiapa yang membaca. Tiada niat aku berbuat begitu. Hanya perkongsian kisah dan pendapatku tentang cinta.
Sekian.
Anyways, this entry is just me sharing my thoughts on how I view love. I remembered once my aunty used to tell me, "Jangan sampai awak yang berlebihan mencintai lelaki. Biarkan dia yang mencintai awak lebih daripada awak cinta dan sayang dia. Aunty dah tengok ramai kawan-kawan aunty (ladies) yang dorang berlebihan cinta suami dorang, but end up dorang sendiri makan hati". Barangkali husband dorang tak balas cinta dorang setimpal dengan dorang cinta husband dorang kot, berkata aku dalam hati. Okay, male readers sure tak puas hati baca statement ni kan hahaha. Thing is, aku pun rasa macam tak adil for guys. I mean, dorang pun surely nak dicintai lebih daripada dorang mencintai kan? Tapi kan, masa makcik aku cakap macam tu kat aku, I still didn't get the "real" picture about love lagi. I was like, "Oh, okay" when she said that to me. But, I start to understand what she meant by it just recently.
I'm not someone who shares my personal story to public like this, but I think there is a need for me to share it here, as a guideline or a precaution for other people out there, I would say. Tbh, I am someone who doesn't really support 'coupling', you know, a 'declared' love relationship between man and woman. Now, some may say I'm such an old fashioned or 'jumud' person or whatever you name it. Say whatever you want, that's just my principle. I don't mind if the man and woman are serious about getting married, in a sense that they like each other, have a mutual interest and aim on where the r/ship is heading them to, and so they bring the relationship to another level; the halal way- by letting their parents know, and later, get married. But just remember the boundaries as a muslim okay. Jaga batas-batas pergaulan tu please..kalau nak jumpa tolong la bawa orang ketiga, abaikan rasa malu korang tu, sebab kalau pergi berdua je, lagi malu depan Allah ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ ) However, before getting married, surely you will go through a phase/phases in order to get to know the other person better right? Now, this is where people always go wrong.
I have read, and seen a lot of articles and videos regarding how to know/detect if the other person is feeling the same as us (read: loves us). I have heard stories about women sacrificing A LOT to get a guy. Sacrificing as in putting A HELLA LOT OF EFFORT to win a guy. I personally think, and this is one of my principle of loving a person too. If you want a relationship to be successful, the effort should be EQUAL from both sides. Meaning, both the man and woman must show and give their effort, NOT JUST ONE PERSON GIVING EFFORT. When it's just one person playing the role, it's not gonna work. Even if it's going to work, the quality would be DIFFERENT.
I know, tak semua orang boleh relate dengan cerita aku ni. Sebab masing2 ada experience sendiri kan. Tapi pendapat dan experience aku sendiri la, dalam bercinta ni, kita kena berhati-hati dengan segala perkara; dengan the other person, dan paling penting, dengan diri kau sendiri.
Point cerita aku sekarang ni, tak salah pun kau nak tunjuk effort, sebagai tanda kau memang sayang dan serious dengan dia. Tapi ingatlah wahai kaum wanita! Tolong jangan berlebihan! Boleh jadi kau akan terluka andai apa yang kau harapkan tidak seperti yang kau mimpikan!!! Andai takdir Allah adalah yang sebaliknya, kau takdelah patah hati teruk sangat. Takdelah sedih dan frust menonggeng tak tentu hala. Andai takdir tidak seperti yang kau harapkan, kau masih mampu berlapang dada dan berdiri kembali.
Jadi, tolonglah jaga diri, jaga hati, jangan sampai terbabas dalam mencintai, sentiasa jaga limit, jangan berlebihan please, agar hatimu tidak begitu terluka andai takdir tidak menyebelahimu.
Akhir kalam, ni ada satu nasihat aku jumpa orang post kat instagram, which I think sangat deep and every single person patut pahat elok-elok dalam hati.
Everytime hati aku sesak, pedih teringat apa yang pernah jadi kat aku, aku remind myself dengan ayat ni. Semoga bermanfaat post aku ni buat kalian. Maaflah andai ada mengguris hati sesiapa yang membaca. Tiada niat aku berbuat begitu. Hanya perkongsian kisah dan pendapatku tentang cinta.
Sekian.
Comments
Post a Comment